CM Punk (cmpunk) wrote,
CM Punk

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"Good mourning heartache..." and "More scary than two A-teams"

Okay, so I think I did this backwards. I have to catch a plane tonight at 7pm, and i've already had to buy a new bag bue to all the extra stuff i'm bringing back with me in the way of presents and clothes and such. I needed a new carry on gear bag anyway because i'm sick of hauling around my huge two week bag that's mainly for long stays and overseas hootinannys. Also, all the people i've already bought gifts for that i'll see on tomorrows ROH/AJPW I have to unwrap all those now so they'll all somehow fit into the little space I have left to pack. It carries over: I'm the worst shopper, terrible wrapper, and this whole not planning ahead thing rears it's ugly head. No worries though.
Tonight, once i'm back in Philly, check out this crew that's already been assembeled to head out and hit the town: Myself, Samoa Joe, Homicide, American Dragon, Puma, and Monsta Mack. Fuckin' A, we're like the A team, but much more violent and cute. Indeed, much more cute. I leave you all now with the tale of my arrival into Chicago a week ago....

I got lucky. I got lucky a whole lot because durning one of the crazy nights out after a TNA show I must've mentioned to a group of people that I was trying to figure out the best way to head to Chicago to see my little sisters for Crimmus. Yes, I got lucky with Tracy Brooks. Whoo! That almost sounds like I got more than a ride from her. Er...wait. Yeah, that sounds bad too. Um...fuck. Whoa! NO! SHIT! I mean that I just traveled to Chicago with her and ODB! Honest. GODDAMNIT! Stop laughing! It's not even the funny part of the story!! Okay, okay, now that i've amused myself enough. Yeah, so Tracy and ODB told me they were going to Minnesota for the holidays, and they offered me a ride to Chicago since it's on the way(for all you geographically retards out there).
So there, that's how I got lucky. No! That's not the story! To make a long story short, when I got to Chicago I stopped in to say hi to my pops. Tracy loves animals so she wanted to run in a see my pops three britany spaniels, Petey, Rowdy, and Stitches (there's another hilarious story about how I named stitches, but i'll tell that somer time. Remind me). So Tracy and I are playing with the dogs, and Rowdy is so excited to see me, he pisses all over me. Indeed. LOTS of piss too. Right down my pants leg. I'm covered in pee, with Tracy pointing and laughing at me, when Stitches, so excited to see Tracys boobs no doubt(stitches is a lesbian), pisses all over Tracy.
You will all never hear the story about us standing around sans pants while I washed the piss from our clothes, however I will let you know the story contains: a black snow man named 'Low ki', two frozen pizzas, and a football helmet filled with cottage cheese.
Luck is for losers.
Piss off.
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