October 13th, 2002

M-U-T-A in the USA! (never ask)

September 27th Detriot Michigan--IWF

"Cheeseburgers and murder"

So I guess i've been back in the game for a month now. I was really
looking forward to this weekend so I could continue to shake off some more
of the ring rust I seemed to aquire during my little vacation. Ace Steel
(no 'e' you retards), myself and Colt Cabana leave a bit late, get stuck in
traffic in two seperate states, yet get a pimp upgrade to a Grand AM I
think it was. At least the car had some pick up so we could try and make
up some time. Like we usually do anytime we cruise to Detriot, we stop in
Kalamazoo, Cabanas old college stomping grounds, and we hit up Qudobas.
Now, if you've never been there, or more likely never even heard of
Qudobas, you're truly missin' out. It's a taco/burrito joint that's sort
of like a Subway. You can pick whatever ingriedients you want, it's
glorious. I always just get a soft shell burrito full of rice, salsa, and
extra chicken. Qudobas seem to only be in college towns at the moment, so
that's unfortunate. Definately in the top three of my favorite places to
eat on the road. Dork behind the counter spots my drug free tattoo on my
knuckles and tells me he's straight edge too.....about three breaths before
he tells me he, and I quote, "cheats now and then". I wanted to punch this
little shit right in the face. I stole a diet pepsi instead. Take that
you trendy sellout douche bag!
We arrive in the bad part of Detroit (that's the whole part) late, the
shows already started, and Chris Hero is nowhere to be found. Oringaly it
was to be the Mafia vs. the Backseat Boys, but they pulled out. Then Hero
and Ace were scheduled to take on Cabana and I, NOW it's the GBM vs. Ace
and random tag team replacement. I am scum for not remembering the
gentlemens name. He did this great Rick Martel baby face pumping of the
fists after each dropkick though. It was tremendous. Match starts off
with some wacky mic work by yours truly. This time, I manage to get two
girls in the front row to start making out with each other, then they
flash, then all hell breaks loose. I have a knack for that kinda shit. We
get the win with a combo superplex/frogsplash that would leave Herk and
Jerk in awe (if you're unaware to whom i'm reffering to, slap yourself),
and we wrap up another night in Detroit playing the piano with Nate Webb
and Truth Martini...who oddly enough can play the old Midnight Expresses
enterance music

September 28th Pittsburgh PA--IWC

"Don't they all look the same?" or "...a chewed up fruit rollup??"

Detroit becomes the outskirts of Michigan, which becomes Ohio, which
becomes Pittsburgh. Through the night we drive, the car half full of crap
to throw at people. Josh Prohibition makes a call to my cell phone to see
if he can snag a ride as we cruise the turnpike. Somehow, I completely
miss his exit. Next thing I know i'm on 76, also on my cell phone
apologizing to Josh for not picking him up. The entire night, a certain
somebody...we'll call her..."idiot" leaves a total of 22 text messages on
my phone, and calls me three fucking times. I'll admit, it's always my
fault. I have a knack for winding up in situation like this. We arrive at
the hotel, maybe around four in the mourning, and I promptly call her to
tell her i'm going to bed. "STOP calling me", I say. Three goddamned
minutes later, she calls, I yell, then the phone gets wrestled away from
her, and it's some drunk guy telling me he's going to kick my ass...yadda
yadda yadda. This guy said some really hilarious stuff. He told me he
works out at the same gym as me, and was going to beat me up....and beat up
all my friends. Needless to say, it's Tuesday right now, and i'm not beat
up...just hungry. F girls. Honestly. If you're reading this and you're a
girl, put your head in a toilet.....
Cabana and myself are quasi celebrities at the hotel we normally stay
at in Pittsburgh due to being there about twice a month, so we get hook
ups. We get to sleep in, check out don't apply. It's not like we get free
room service or anything, but we're treated more like friends than
customers. We wake up way late, and have to dig out all the free breakfast
food for the free breakfast buffet. I'm pretty sure I polished off at leat
12 bowls of raisin bran with bannana. I'm an eater ya know. We wait for Christopher Daniels, watch some SNL on the big screen, feed a random/friendly groundhog, then it's off to the IcoPlex for some rasslin'.

Due to Dick Togo and Low Ki both sporting some serious ankle injuries, that card gets a change up. Cabana works Ikuto Hidaka, and Daniels and myself decide to try and make up for the two injured workers not being there, and give the fans their monies worth. We hook it up in a half hour iron man match, and I *just* got the tape in the mail, I still like it. It holds up on tape. After the match, Daniels and I make everybody stick around just so we can cut some ROH promos, and then we hit the road once again. We're due back in Chicago so Ace can catch a plane in the early afternoon, so once we finish our fantatic Eat 'n Park meals, drop off Daniels at the hotel, we're on the road again. Thankfully, I get back seat in the rental, and promptly fall right the fuck off due to lack of sleep, also wrestling for a half hour straight. I've done more than a few iron man matches, and they always catch up with ya....
As I write this, i'm fixin' to leave for ATL with Ace, and of course, we're way late. Ah well, I won't be home for another two weeks, look for new commentary detaling my IWA return, my matches with Nate Webb, Jerry Lynn, a possible cage match on the 19th, and getting my ass handed to me for a week straight by three of the best workers to ever come out of Europe.
Any suggestions on what I be for Halloween?
I wanted Clarkes for breakfast so I could talk to Cute girl, but Ace has been tanning for the last two hours.
Until next weekend......
  • Current Music
    Rocket from the Cyrpt: Group Sounds