George Bush is a fucking moron.

the subject above has nothing to do with the following commentary, but everything to do with how completely fucked the place I live is.
Also, this commentary is dedicated to all the followers of Christ and his teachings; in particular to a true Christian--Jimmy Hoffa--because he hired ex-convicts as, I assume, Christ would have. (thanks Lenny).......

So yeah. Commentary. It's like my forgotten red headed step child. But you forgive me, don't you? Of course you do. You love it. You need it. Damnit, you can't sleep without it. Without any further ado, I bring you the rantings of a madman. A madman that went to see the movie "Good Boy" today, but nonetheless, a madman.....

"Movie Weekend-O-rama Pallooza!"

First things first, remember when I never took a weekend off? Yeah, well fuck that shit. I've felt like such garbage lately, and with the ROH school opening up this coming week, me working every Wednesday with NWA:TNA, and this being the week ROH runs a Thursday, not to mention I leave for England Friday....let's just say a couple days off was needed. I'm not the young man I used to be. I'm much more bitter now. My weekend off was basically spent at the movies in between going to the gym and getting in some pretty good workouts. I also slept a lot. More than I wanted too actually, so I didn't get to see most of the movies I wanted to. The following may or may not contain spoilers, frankly, I give no fuck if I ruin a movie for you.....

Friday, October 10th....KILL BILL
Fan-fucking-tastic. HOWEVER, I did go away feeling a bit flat. I thought the way the movie was shot was great. Tarantino is wonderful, but I know that's not the way he intended people to see his movie. It was supposed to be three hours, they cut it in half, added some filler to both parts, and now we have two two hour movies. Parts seemed to drag a bit, but nothing beats Uma in a Game of Death jump suit that's covered in blood and sweat. I'm also not sold on David Carradin as the uber villain, but i'll wait until I see the entire flick to pass total judgment. Best part is Lucy Liu fucking dies, and that's always a thumbs up to me. She's the worst, with her always bitching about how Asians are treated in Hollywood, and here she is again is the most stereotypical Asian role she can find. Bottom line, it's a good movie, stop reading this and go see it, fan boy.

Still Friday night.....Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (that's right!)

Um...what to say about this......I thought it'd be funnier than it was. Somebody gave a budget to a bunch of weirdo Canadian geek Lesbians that must still live at home, and this movie was born. It's fairly obvious these guys are pro wrestling nerds too, with the horrible fight scenes and all. Some killer lines though: Jesus gets finished putting the hurt on some nerds, and he sits in a chair and says "And on the seventh day, he rested".
Stellar. Also about as realistic as the bible. They get points for making jesus a huge pansy. OH! How could I forget. Jesus fights side by side with famous Luchador Santo....who is played by an extremely over weight Canadian. Blasphemous I say! Also, they fight vampire lesbians....

Sunday October 12th...Lost In Translation...

Great movie that will more than likely be totally lost on half of everybody who loves Bill Murray mainly because most people aren't as smart as most dogs I know. What's her face from Ghost World is in it too, and honestly, if I gave two shits about academy awards (dude, I didn't even capitalize academy, THAT'S how much I don't care) i'd say they should both get one. Ten times funnier if you've ever been to Japan, but still a great movie.

sneaking right into the 7:30 showing of....Out of Time....
This one comes on the heels of a recommendation by some guy named Raven. He wears skirts, maybe you've heard of him. So this movie is fucking GREAT...until the end when it becomes a predictable hollywood crap fest. They do a great job of building characters, and you wind up not liking a single one. Except if you're me, who loved the evil Dean Cain. Anyway, the ending sucked, because Denzel while he was all alone at the end with his ex wife should have shot her in the face. He totally would've gotten away with it, and could've ran off with like...EVERYBODIES money.....but no, he finds his heart. Bullshit I say, I would've shot her. Also, Dean Cain carries a .38, only fires four shots, and is magically gypped out of the other two for some reason. F you hollywood!

Today, which is Monday October 13th....GOOD BOY!

Yeah, that's right. I saw it. Good Boy. A movie about dogs from outer space. An alternate ending where the dogs eat all the throats of the lame actors in this movie (besides Kevin Nealen, he's cool...also a vegan fyi) would have made me happy. Really it was just a huge rib to even go see this movie, but I figured somebody had to. Someday I hope to do voice over work for an animal on the big screen. That way people can be sitting in the theater saying, "Holy shit! that's Punks voice! One time, this dude that used Copa Cabana as his entrance threw him off a Pepsi Machine!!!"

Besides all that, I caught up on some TV that I normally watch thanks to the Barbiehead who has turned into my human TiVO of sorts. Smallville has completely jumped the shark with Pa Kent talking to Jor-El in real time, getting super powers, Lex stranded on a desert island, and other assorted feces. I liked the first season...I really did. It had me at hello, now all this.

Anybody know when Coral Fang comes out? I'll check tomorrow....yeah, that was random.

Oh, I's my birthday's coming up ya know. Buy me something, or continue to live a life of mediocrity!

TiVO (i've been working on Raven for weeks about this, hopefully he gets the fucking hint)
Tattoo money.
Kettle Balls! (special shout out to Marky...)
Game of Death jump suit (this has been on my list for YEARS, if anybody gets me this, i'll spare your life)

Oh, fuck it, i've just lost all patience for writing. Go fuck yourself.
I'll be back soon with tales of bowling with AFI, and being in Wrigglyville when the Cubs beat the Braves. Go fuck yourself again.
  • Current Music
    conan obrien

"A couple two, three things...."

Ah, so much to talk about. Let's jump right in with both feet and discuss shit talking. It's a two way street really. I could sit here and joke on a few people who definitely deserve it, but on the flip side, I dot' want to give them the press, ya know? Three people come to mind at the moment, one gets no mention. One gets my sympathy because sometimes I don't understand the part about never letting go. One gets the distinction of being mentioned because he's a giant scum bag. So YOU, the would-be "promoter" operating out of the Boston area, I give you the finger for your lame attempts to drag my pristine name through the mud. YOU, who never contacted me put my name and face on posters and expect that to draw you a crowd. Well, jokes on YOU tinker bell, because I ain't nobody. Putting my face on a flyer draws you maybe two people. These two people who will probably not go to your show after they find out I was never on it in the first place. On tope of never contacting me, let alone never booking me for your show, you have bogus mechandise you're advertising that I signed for you. And yeah, you're such pond scum, you're auctioning it off to raise money for a sick kid. Now it's personal. If there even really is a sick kid, I doubt the money is going to him at all. Speaking of money, you owe me....lots. And until you pay me, i'd suggest you avoid your bullshit, sorry ass antics. I shall punch you in the face if I ever see you and you don't hand over my mother fucking money, you wanker.
So yeah, on wards and upwards. I have the best girl ever. She's so sweet to me. She calls me after all my matches to make sure i'm okay, and she actually takes an interest in what it is I love to do. My so-called vegan ex-girlfriend (who used to drink milkshakes when she had cramps) never did anything remotely as compassionate for me. Live and LAUGH. (C'mon, I always win.)
I'll be back later tonight with a more wrestling related update, and by 'later tonight', I mean three weeks.
Eat it pig.

Ba weep gra na weep ninny bon!

Hey, it's Barbie Head. I'm posting this for Punk 'cuz Hero's computer is the shits. Let me take this opportunity to fill you guys in on all the stuff Punk left his hotass new feminist tattoo, his love of ass showers, and his even greater love for Samoa Joe. Yeaaahhhh. Universal greeting, motherfuckers!
So here's his commentary....


It's funny how things always work out. The night before every MLW show, I never get any sleep. Tonight is no different. There was some drama with plane tickets and travel, and now that i've got it all worked out there's really not point in getting any sleep. It seems when I sleep for only about two hours it fucks me up more than pulling an all nighter. Besides, i'll sleep on the plane, and i'll be nice and crabby for all my promos when I get to the building. I'll more than likely take a nap after I find a way to work out when i'm in FLA too.
I'm sitting at WHIN at the moment smiling to myself at the last few months of my sitcom of a life. It's set in stone now, i'm off to Philly on the first of the month. My last show in Chicago will be the RCW show on the 31st.
After the MLW show I fly back to chicago, drive from midway to O'Hare, and fly to Philly. I remember when I used to live in my car, now I live in airplanes.
The last two years living at WHUSA with Ace has been nothing short of hilarious. I'm sad to see it end, but it's time to go live it up with my two new rad roomates. Obviously the ROH school will be opening up soon, and i'm very much looking forward to it. There's going to be a lot of good stuff happening with ROH and the school. I intend to learn as much from the students as they learn from me.
God damn I love me some pro wrestling.
A big congrats to my good friend Alexis Laree. She deserves a shot, and i'm sure she'll take that ball and run with it.
  • Current Music

People keep yelling at me to update this thing...

So, i'm in Lousiville at the moment, and let me check real quick.....yep! It still sucks here. I'm trying to build up some motivation to go workout. Tonight, I finally get to go see Freddy vs. Jason. Tomorrow i've got some TNA action. Thursday i'll be in Chicago. Friay i'll be in Florida. Saturday i'll be in limbo, and Sunday i'll be in stinky New Jersey.
Japan was amazing, thanks for asking, I go back in September.
Also, somebody tell me who was the lady spy that worked for the CIA in that "cody banks" movie...(don't ask, just tell)
This update has been brought to you by my lack of anything funny to say...

Big trouble in little....Tokyo.

Today, I....worked out at the Zero one dojo...had a crash course in the subways of Japan...didn:t shower...saw AFI play a great cover of of Poisons Nothing but a Good Time....watched Ian Ashbury of the Cult morf into Jim Morrison and play with the doors...hung out with AFI some more...Got attacked by completely lost in Tokyo...
I no longer like Brodie Armstrong, for she is a slut/whore/tramp.
Nothing like wandering the streets of Tokyo been so rad here.
Did I mention I got attacked by cats? Yeah, while I was lost, I was walking through this park and I saw a cat just chillin on this rock. I took a picture of it, because I thought it was strange that there was just some cat layin around. When I approached it to pet it, like, five other cats came out of the bushes and they all started hissing at me. It was crazy. Crazy I tell you!
Until tomorrow....
...go fuck yourself.

Villa Fontaine

I sit in a Kinkos in Japan, its 1am in the mourning, and I just semi main evented at Korakuen hall.
I also just ate an ice cream sammich with Bob Sapps face on it.
Life is good.
If anybody would like to direct complaints about things I may have said about them in a recent interview, please see the Barbiehead on your way out of my office.
Unless you are a drug dealer or a hooker, then, just post all over message boards, and I will further ignore you.
I like being a crabby young man.
Anyway, I digress...Things have been so over the top tremendous for me here in Japan so far. I really cant say enough how much I love it here. Ive done three shows, and had three very good, dare I say excellent tag matches. Tomorrow, bright an early we work out at the dojo, then I get to see the Zero One offices and get fitted for some new gear. Three days off in Tokyo....lets see how much trouble I can get into....

People I miss, yet support me always: Shan, Chez, Ace, Cass, Lee, Callee, Kid, Hero, Marky, Allison, Barbiehead, Gil, Capri, Pops, Petey, Rowdy and Stitches. If I forgot you, you maybe should think about getting me something really rad for my birthday....
People who are stinky hookers....ah, you know.

Bobb Sapp ice cream sammich: 120 yen
Dirty Philly hookers: 130 yen
Debuting at Korakuen hall, with three CM Punk signs in the crowd...

Oh, and I really have like...a thousand dirty hooker jokes, so buckle up for those. I just find it so hilarious that somebody would cancel themselves off a show just because of what I said. Um...heres another....

Korean BBQ 1500 yen
Zero One Low Ki shirt 3000 Yen
Offended at being called a hooker, yet willingly gang banged by some odd hundreds of men...

My name is CM Punk, and im at Kinkos.....(in japan!)
  • Current Music
    Kinkos Muzak!

"Just like me"

i'm sitting in my apartment eating tacos and realizing what an introvert I am. It's Friday night, and i'm going out of my mind because i'm not wrestling. I had plans to go to the movies with my best friend, but i'm way too into this fucked up state of mind at the moment to do anything that has to do with being in public. I've already worked out today, but chances are, as the night goes on, i'll find my way back to the gym. That's what I do when I don't know what to do with myself.
I listen to depressing music and wonder how the people can discriminate Christopher Daniels because of his age.
I think about the complete retard with the rusted out Fiero that's taking up THREE parking spaces outside my apartment.
My head is filled with hopes and dreams.
I hope certain people I barely talk to know and understand the sacrifices i've made to make it to where I am. Being a wrestler isn't really that fair to those around you.
I'm not talking about a once a month, never been to a gym "wrestler". I'm taking about the very small handful of people that decided a long time ago that this was what they were going to do, and have put it above and beyond anything else in their lives. The people around you never really get the all of you that some of them deserve. I've missed my best friends college graduation. I'm missed wedding (this I honestly don't feel too bad about, it's the divorce parties that i'm pissed off I missed).
It's hard, but i've never thought for a single second that it all wasn't worth it.
I've lived in my car. I've slept on floors. I've rambled on in my commentaries making no sense at just now.
I'm not sure why i'm even saying any of this.
Maybe it's because i'm so fucking tired.
Maybe it's because i'm greatful.
Maybe it's just because i'm fucking crazy.
Maybe I should just go to bed....after all, I gotta wrestle tomorrow....

"Real friends eat chewed up pancakes." OR "OMD"

You think Christopher Daniels is a wrestler? Er...well....okay, yeah. You're right, he is. HOWever...I feel a need to write about his other job because honestly, i'm proud of him.
*sidenote* I'm also WAY proud of my girl, for she is rad. *end sidenote*

Everything seems to be going Daniels way as of late, even the altheimers is in remission! (JAB!)....okay, okay, I digress. Daniels works hard for everything he has, and he deserves it. I thought maybe a congratulations was in order because Daniels side job of Hollywood stunt man is also paying off left and right. Anybody see him job out to Drew Barrymore in Charlies Angels 2? Damn right, Chris Daniels sold for the little girl from E.T, but I guess that's much akin to him selling for that little girl from "American Samoa" (Left/right combo!).
*sidenote* I love the way I italicized American Samoa, completely invalidating the ROYAL heritage of that little girl from fuck it, nevermind. *endsidenote*

Anyway, I keep getting off track here. Daniels does an awesome job with whatever he does, and he deserves props. I hope his stunt career is as successful as his wrestling career. I know he loves doing both because he told me that doing stunt work with the Charlies Angles team was way more fun then when he sat next to Peter at the last supper (uppercut!uppercut!).
This ends your regularly scheduled program, you can go back to lookin' at net porn!
  • Current Music
    Me first and the gimmee gimmees!

"Quick, get a bucket for all this Bison poop."

I was all set to write a commentary today. Then I had to take the shuttle to downtown from Midway, jump the red line, transfer to the blue line, then walk a bunch to get back home. Now instead of writing about how much I love Chicago, the fat kid that woke me up on my plane home this mourning, and TNA junk, I will sit here and watch Maury Povitch paternity tests, and that wacky animal guy Jack Hanna. So far, all his animals have laid cable all over Maurys set. It doesn't get any better than that.
Oh, and if you're the fat kid that woke me up on flight 2053 today, I will clothesline your guts, you pig.